Recently, a friend and I came to the agreement to go on a break. I think this quote succinctly describes part of what went wrong.
“A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often – just to save it from drying out completely. ” Pam Brown (poet, 1948-present)
I’m not so naive or arrogant as to take no blame in the situation. We both had let friendship succumb to time, distance, and the general flurry of life. Too few phone calls, ignored text messages, the creation of new friendships, the gaining of new hobbies, or too many one-sided pulls in one direction or another. We had missed out on a lot. Misunderstanding snapped what was left of the connections between us. We gave each other the courtesy of explaining ourselves and beginning to heal over any hurts. There is nothing left to apologize about. In the end, we were both aware of the damage. In the end, it was the silence that spoke the most before the, “I’ll see you later,” that I gave since I’m not one to believe in goodbyes.
In that silence, I accepted the fact that this could be a healing silence or that this might be the death of a friendship. I am not one to discard the past for then I won’t have learned from it. People sometimes remain in our lives even if only in fond memories or the occasional meeting on a store run complete with, “It’s been forever, how have you been?” To me, it was all worth it even if things don’t work out.